Self-care is not Selfish

Imagine withdrawing from your bank account daily and never making a deposit. Eventually, it would be depleted and trouble would follow. Unfortunately, so many of us operate this way when it comes to our emotional bank account. We give to everyone and everything that pulls our energy while too infrequently replenishing the source. This is the path to burnout, anxiety, and depression. I frequently ask my clients, “How are you practicing self care?” This question is usually followed by a blank stare, as the client searches for not only an answer to that question, but also an idea of what “self care” is. Self-care can be anything we do to nurture and care for ourselves. Anything that energizes and replenishes us (excluding substances) can be considered self-care. Making ourselves a priority on our list of responsibilities is a necessary step in practicing self-care. If we don’t replenishing our emotional bank account, no one else will. We must make the time to replenish ourselves, otherwise, illness and imbalance result.  Here are 11 things you can do today to start filling your emotional bank account.

  1. Say “no” to anything or anyone that depletes your energy.

  2. Take a long bath.

  3. Do something you love that brings you joy-hike, garden, cook, dance, etc.

  4. Exercise.

  5. Express gratitude, affection, and love to those you care for-including pets!

  6. Pamper yourself- get a haircut, massage, manicure, reiki session, etc.

  7. Go for a mindful walk and notice sights, sounds, smells, and sensations around you.

  8. Spend time with a friend that makes you happy.

  9. Take a nap.

  10. Ask for help.

  11. Look in the mirror and say, “I love you”.  

    Author: Dr. Eleni Boosalis, PsyD


Eleni Boosalisself care, love, self love